Ever need something to get you motivated? Just speaking for me, I do ALL THE TIME. I wish I could say that I’m always motivated to do the things I need to do or live the healthy life I need to live, it’s just not always the case. That’s what Friday Fire Ups are going to be for!
I’ve always seen myself as someone that has had issues with discipline. I am faced with a temptation and my willpower falls. It’s frustrating and tiring. I don’t like it and I want something more.
Tonight I saw a quote that rocked my world.
Could that be any more simple?? It’s not about giving something up and depriving myself, it’s about choosing what I want MOST.
I want to like myself more. I want to feel better, be healthier. I want to push past the voice that says to veg out and instead lace up my running shoes to help propel myself to my goals.
I’m done looking at what I want now and I’m ready to fight for what I want MOST!
Yesterday I saw a quote that I haven’t been able to get out of my head. Actually, it was on a fortune cookie of all things, but it stuck with me.
“Never fear shadows. They simply mean there’s a light shining somewhere nearby.”
How profound is that? Too many times I worry about starting something because I have fear. I don’t want to fail. I don’t want to quit and not accomplish something. You know what that leads to? Not trying anything. That doesn’t help anyone and doesn’t get any of us anywhere.
I’m scared to death of not completing a goal this year that I’ve put out there for myself, completing a half marathon. It’s easy for me to use fear as a crutch and an excuse to stop me from doing something great.
It was fear that made me believe I couldn’t question my place in the nursing program, not being accepted into the ASN but rather the lower PN program. It was faith in myself and the hard work I had achieved, along with the awesome scores I posted, that made me ask for my scores to be reevaluated. It was the knowledge that I worked hard and deserved to be heard that made me go back a second time, even with the dean looked at me like I was insane, and tell her something just wasn’t right. It was not listening to the fear that was ever present in the back of my mind that was telling me not to question, not to put myself out there, that made it possible for my scores to be reevaluated, for the mistake to be found, and for me to be placed into the ASN program in the spot that I earned (and receive an apology from the dean for the mistake being made in the first place). Had I not had that faith in myself I would still be in the PN program (which is completely OK!) but it would have taken me an additional year to complete my course work and be able to become a registered nurse, which is where I want to be.
That’s a big price to pay (time and tuition) to let fear have a place in my life and it’s not worth it. Shadows are okay because it means a light is shining and I’m ready to run to that light.
Things this weekend didn’t really go as planned. We had some good times, like the surprise party for one of my awesome sister-in-law’s 40th birthday (love you Rachel!), and not so good times, like a friend having a heart attack and the death of another friend, our pastor’s mother. Laundry was not done, the house was left unclean, and homework was pushed off. I like to schedule things as much as I can but there’s an adage that just rings too true sometimes “we plan and God laughs”. It’s great to have plans but often times life gets in the way and you do what you need to do because really, the rest will figure itself out in the end.
While perusing my Facebook page the last couple of days and scrolling through the updates, I realized I barely recognized half of the names I was looking at. I had a list of 440 “friends”, some of which I don’t talk to and barely know. There are times I have had to scroll through endlessly to find an update from someone I really know and correspond with. That is just silly and so I decided to pare that down a little bit. By the time I got done I was at 398.
Hhhmmm. I’m not sure how to feel about that. I mean, I love meeting new people and I love that I feel like I have contact with so many people in my life, so it’s not like I am opposed to having a larger number in that spot. As a matter of fact, there are people I know through blogging and through Facebook that I’ve never even met face to face. One of my closest friends, known around my house as “Canada Jenn”, lives in another country. And some of the greatest support and advice I have gotten the last few years as a new mom and going back to school has come from all over the world.
So yeah, I love meeting and getting to know people. But do these people really know me? I think that’s part of the point of starting this blog. I want to share so much more about myself than what fits in a Facebook status update or a quick tweet. Maybe my friend number will go up from here, we shall see.
I have owned the rights to this space since July but because of a combination of work, school, church and just plain life, I never got around to using it. That is about to change. My husband, Gabe, has been encouraging me to start a public blog and get my voice out there to talk about the things I love. I have no idea if anyone out there will enjoy reading about the things that really interest me but I am going to give it a shot. Right now one big thing on my mind, as you can probably tell by the title of this blog, is modesty and how that affects my life. Modesty comes up in so many aspects of my every day life that I wanted to talk about all of the areas that so many people may not think of. I also wanted to introduce some of the awesome modest fashions I have found because I know so many people who also have a hard time finding the great things that are out there. Being modest is just one aspect of who I am though. Right now I’m a struggling student and mom who cares about finances and fitness and just plain getting by. I have a feeling this space will be an outlet and a fun place for me to bring out parts of my personality that may never get seen by people other than Gabe (and he already knows how insane, silly, nutty, frustrating, etc) I can be. Welcome to my new little piece of the net and I hope to see you around.