Yesterday I saw a quote that I haven’t been able to get out of my head. Actually, it was on a fortune cookie of all things, but it stuck with me.
“Never fear shadows. They simply mean there’s a light shining somewhere nearby.”
How profound is that? Too many times I worry about starting something because I have fear. I don’t want to fail. I don’t want to quit and not accomplish something. You know what that leads to? Not trying anything. That doesn’t help anyone and doesn’t get any of us anywhere.
I’m scared to death of not completing a goal this year that I’ve put out there for myself, completing a half marathon. It’s easy for me to use fear as a crutch and an excuse to stop me from doing something great.
It was fear that made me believe I couldn’t question my place in the nursing program, not being accepted into the ASN but rather the lower PN program. It was faith in myself and the hard work I had achieved, along with the awesome scores I posted, that made me ask for my scores to be reevaluated. It was the knowledge that I worked hard and deserved to be heard that made me go back a second time, even with the dean looked at me like I was insane, and tell her something just wasn’t right. It was not listening to the fear that was ever present in the back of my mind that was telling me not to question, not to put myself out there, that made it possible for my scores to be reevaluated, for the mistake to be found, and for me to be placed into the ASN program in the spot that I earned (and receive an apology from the dean for the mistake being made in the first place). Had I not had that faith in myself I would still be in the PN program (which is completely OK!) but it would have taken me an additional year to complete my course work and be able to become a registered nurse, which is where I want to be.
That’s a big price to pay (time and tuition) to let fear have a place in my life and it’s not worth it. Shadows are okay because it means a light is shining and I’m ready to run to that light.