I know it’s been a bit of a theme here but lately I have had a LOT of support. Currently I’m unemployed but I am a full-time nursing student and that takes a lot of time and energy from a lot of people to accomplish everything that it involves.

First, Gabe is my biggest supporter.  He always tells me I’m smart enough and that I will do well at anything I put my mind too.  He makes sure I have time to study by keeping the kids distracted when I’m stressing over homework or an upcoming test (like this last week).  He texts me and tells me how awesome I’m going to do on a test and when I don’t always do awesome he’s right there telling me how I will kick butt on the next one.  This school stuff isn’t easy on our family but he’s behind me every step of the way.

Second, I have fabulous help with the kiddos.  On days I have tests or need to be at school early my aunt Cheryl and my sister-in-law Rachel pick up Aiden from school for me.  That is a stress reliever like I can’t even explain.  When I don’t have to worry about fighting traffic and getting to school in time for my test, I am able to focus on just studying and being prepared.

Third, my classmates talk me down when I get ridiculously worked up and lift me up when I’m not sure if I’m ever going to get all of this.  I know I’ve talked about them before but Whitney, Jenny, Jade, Jessica, Liz, Tina, Beth, Kat, Ashley, Andy, and Lauren (agh!  I’m probably leaving someone out.  Sorry!!) all laugh with me, cry with me, encourage me when I need it, or vent about everything that we’re going through when we just need to get it off our chests.  They hug me when I have a break down and cheer me on when I have a triumph.  These people have my back and I most definitely have theirs.

Last, but most definitely not least, are my kiddos.  How much support can they offer you might ask?  So much more than I can say.  When I’m tired and stressed out and just plain done, a smile from them and an “I love you mommy” mean more than just about anything else in the world.

To say I am blessed by the support I have from all of these people would be an understatement.  These people are my rocks.

You all know I’m in nursing school right?  Okay, well if you didn’t know, now you do.  So, this week I struggled with trying to start my running training program while balancing the need to study for a Pharmacology test.  Last semester I struggled with my Med-Surg class and did great in Pharmacology.  This semester it is the exact opposite.  So far I am kicking butt at Med-Surg and STRUGGLING with Pharmacology.

When I say it’s the bane of my existence, I really am not exaggerating that it is making me miserable.  I did NOT do well on the first two quizzes and tests, which just made my stress for today’s test all that more extreme.  If I do not pass this class with at least a 75%, I will have to take it again, which really isn’t in our budget and I really do NOT want to spend this summer in school if I can avoid it.

Today I met with Whitney and my fabulous friend Jade a few hours before the test and had a quick review/cram session.  To say it helped me feel better going in to the test would be an understatement.  I have a difficult time just sitting, reading, reviewing, and retaining.  I do much better when I talk and listen and bounce the facts off of the people around me.  I also had my girl Jenny holding my hand and calming my anxiety right before the test to get right of all the negative thoughts going through my head in that moment.  How great are these people??

I felt confident about so many of my answers as I put them on the test.  I even changed two answers because I just knew I had answered wrong the first time (although I know you should NEVER change an answer from your first instinct) and I had changed them to the correct ones!  I walked out of the test actually feeling like I did well.  I wasn’t wrong!  I was able to achieve a 90/100, which is fabulous in my book at this point and I could not be happier.

Pharmacology may currently be the bane of my existence but I know that with the fabulous group of people I have around me to support me (and me them in return!) that I can conquer this challenge.  Nursing is my future, this is just one step on that road.

I have an issue with my weight.  I have a LOT of issues with my weight.  I have struggled with my weight and fitness since before I even had the kiddos and of course after having them it did NOT get any better.

You might ask where weight fits in a blog about modesty but I think it fits in just right.  I believe things should be done modestly and in moderation and yet lately I have been eating like it’s going out of style.  How in the world does that fit in to a modest lifestyle?  Well, it doesn’t.  Not really.  Living a healthy lifestyle and working on my weight will definitely be a part of this page.

Time for a little history to those that either don’t know me well or haven’t been privy to my previous blogging.  Three years ago I used the Weight Watchers points program to get my eating under control and focus on healthy living.  It worked wonders and I was able to lose weight and get in much better shape.  That didn’t last when I started back to school and stopped focusing on myself.  I was working full-time and going to school and eventually something had to give and that was my health/weight.  I’m not blaming anyone, I take full responsibility for it.  It’s life.  Sometimes life ends up winning out but it doesn’t make it good.

Last summer in July I recognized the direction I was going and decided I needed to have some accountability again and decided to join Weight Watchers and use the new PointsPlus program and go to the meetings.  Again, I did great because I paid attention to myself and what I was eating and how much I was exercising.  I lost about 15 pounds and was exercising at least 4 times a week.

Then came nursing school.  Wow.  That was something I was just not prepared for.  I mean, don’t get me wrong, I certainly didn’t think it was going to be easy but I had no idea just how hard it was going to be.  I was still working full-time when I started last August.  I had taken all of my previous classes on a part-time basis and going to school full-time was a whole new animal for me.  Not only is nursing school a full-time job in and of itself, but the work required to do well is so much more above and beyond than I can say.  And really, given the profession we’re talking about, I would expect no less.  I don’t want to be an undereducated person out there trying to give people good nursing care, far from it.   All of that together, along with losing my job, equaled me quitting Weight Watchers to save time and money, and me putting on that 15 pounds I lost last summer.  Yeah, not so great.

I know I’m not alone.  I know a lot of people struggle with their weight and some of my friends in nursing school also went through the 10-15 pound gain that I did.  That’s just how time consuming and stressful it all is.  I’m not letting that win out though.  A few weeks ago I decided to start working out again and my awesome friend, Whitney, has been doing the same program and encouraging me to keep it up.  I do know that it’s not enough to just exercise though.  Last week I finally admitted to myself that I was just blindly going through and filling my body up with junk.  And I’m over it.  I know myself and I know that without accountability and without structure that I’m horrible about choosing things to eat.

So where does that leave me?  Joining Weight Watchers once again to give me the structure I need to have to be successful and healthy.  I jumped in on Saturday and could not feel better that I am making good choices to make a change.  I found out yesterday that another friend just joined last weekend too and I could not be happier to have a buddy on this journey.  I’m not going to out here here, so to speak, because that’s her journey but I’ll just say that she’s awesome and I’m so excited that she’s making fabulous choices for herself too.

I know that hitting the goal I put out for this year of running a half marathon is not going to happen without me putting in a lot of work.  While I was working out more before, now I’m making the food fit with everything else and I know that if I put in the work that my goal is not unattainable.  A good exercise program along with the right food I put in my body are the things I need to make this happen.  I also do want to lose weight (who doesn’t?!) and I will be tracking that here with some regularity.

I saw a quote this week that said “Winners are not people who never fail, but people who never quit”.  Yep, I’m not at the weight I want to be and haven’t hit my goals yet but I am definitely not quitting.  There may just be a winner in me yet!

I’m trying to get back on track with this blog after illness and birthdays and everything else that got in the way.  That being the case, we’re back on for trends!

Something I didn’t understand, and didn’t think would look good on me, for the last couple of seasons was open front cardigans.  I didn’t understand hanging ends and all of the drapiness.  It didn’t make sense to me and I didn’t see how it would work on me.  How could a woman with an hourglass figure that can be swallowed in something too flowing possibly wear this?

Simply Vera, Vera Wang, Kohl's ($24.99)

I was WRONG!  I bought my first open front cardigan on clearance after Christmas this year at Kohl’s.  Three weeks later I bought another one at Target because I was hooked.  I’m actually a little in love with the pic I posted but since Spring is upon us I don’t really want to buy anything long-sleeved at this point.

I didn’t realize it’s all about what you put with the cardigan that can make all the difference.  If you put something figure hugging then you can still show off your shape in something this sheer.  Or, for a different look, a thick belt around the waist can bring it all in to emphasize the smallest part of you or give you a waist if that’s where one of your “problem areas” is.

I love this trendy piece and hope that it continues.  Not only is it fun and versatile but it is so budget friendly!  I was wrong at first glance in my judgement of the upon front cardigan but a few of these in your closet will give you options to dress up or down an outfit and have all kinds of different looks.

It’s officially Spring and while that may mean tornado warnings and crazy hail in March, it also means some very pretty things.

Gabe took this photo on the IU campus at work this week and I just had to share it. I love to see the new life, and feel the new possibilities, Spring brings.

I have offered an awesome deal here before and if you missed out on it you have another chance!  Gabe is offering his books for FREE.  Yes, for FREE.  I’m putting a link to his offer on this post.  If you have a Kindle or the Kindle app on your computer, tablet, or smartphone then you can read Gabe’s books without having to pay a cent.  So here it is.  Go get them before this ends at the end of the day on March 24th!

http://www.amazon.com/Gabriel-Beyers/e/B00545OA7U/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0

Normally I try to do Simply Thankful Saturday but yesterday most definitely got away from me.  Yesterday was Aiden’s 5th birthday – yay!!  We had a party planned and fun times.  Until Aiden woke up throwing up.  And continued to throw up all day long.  My poor sweet guy was sick on his birthday.  That left little time for blogging but I am no less thankful for him.

Five years ago yesterday I was blessed with this:

That’s the first photo we were able to get with Aiden and I.  He was born at 1:58 a.m. but I didn’t get to hold him like this until after 4:00 a.m.  He was stubborn and came in to the world a bit traumatically so he had to be taken care of a little before we could cuddle.  I hope I never forget this moment for as long as I live.

People just coming to this blog may not really know our story but Aiden was hard fought for.  We tried for three years to conceive and suffered a miscarriage before becoming pregnant with him.  There’s a song I love that says “I want to know what it’s like, to bring a dream to life”.  That’s what Aiden was.  He was and is our dream come true.  We had no idea our lives were missing something huge until Aiden (and then Livi!) came in to our lives.  I thank God every day that he is in my life, I am grateful we have been blessed with him.

So happy birthday a day late (although we will be partying it up next weekend!) to my sweet guy.  I love you and look forward to the lifetime of birthdays we will get to share.

A friend of mine, Miss Whitney, may very well have saved a life today.  She’s a fellow nursing student but she didn’t do something in the conventional sense (like CPR on a patient) but rather she did something extremely self-less.  She donated bone marrow.  To a STRANGER.

Apparently she’s been on the donor registry for a few years now but just got a call a few weeks ago saying she was the perfect match for a woman with leukemia and asked if she would still be willing to donate.  Without hesitation she said yes and that’s what lead to today.

This week she had to take crazy medications (one of which she let me shoot her up with – that’s how crazy she is!!  he he) to get ready for her donation.  Today she went to the hospital about an hour away and went through a process in which she put strain and stress on her body just to give a part of herself away.  I won’t tell the whole story because she does it much better than I ever could.  You can check it out here.  Oh and she’s adorable so click on over just to see her smiling face.

Whitney has been an inspiration to me and because of her I should now be on the national registry.  It used to be complicated to find a donation site and get signed up but it’s not anymore.  All you have to do is go to BeTheMatch.  Once you get there you just fill out a form and if you’re eligible they will send you a packet and instructions to send back a few cheek swabs.  Could it be any easier??!!  Of course not.  So please go do it.  I sent my off early last week and hope that if I’m ever in the position to pay it forward like Whitney did today, that I will be able to give that gift too.

So not only was I SICK yesterday (and by sick I mean severe gastroenteritis that made me seriously consider going to the ER to get antiemetics and fluids) but my laptop started having severe issues with spyware, which meant I couldn’t blog or do much of anything on it for a while.  Last Sunday I was especially frustrated when I couldn’t complete my homework on time.  I was complaining about not getting anything done so Gabe decided to have some fun and took this video:

This is exactly how I felt at the moment he took the video, like I wouldn’t mind just blowing up my computer.  It worked out perfectly that Livi ran out of the frame just as he started recording so it almost looks like she knows something is coming.  She’s a smart girl like that.

Five years ago I wrote these words:

Friday, March 02, 2007

40-Week Update

Not much to report I’m afraid. I’m still 1 cm and 50% effaced. I have my due date as Saturday 3/3 but my midwife has my due date as today (3/2). I guess by her count I’ll be officially overdue tomorrow. If nothing happens between now and Wednesday I go back for a non-stress test and regular visit to see what’s going on. Otherwise I’m thinking there may be a lot of cleaning, walking, and other things *nod, nod, wink, wink* this weekend to try to get this show on the road.  🙂

I still remember the the excitement and anticipation I felt wondering when Aiden was going to make his way in to this world.  Of course looking back I know it would be another week before we would get to see his beautiful face but at the time I thought it could be any minute.  In eight more days my tiny little guy is going to be 5-years-old.  Where did the time go??