It has been almost a year since the tragic events in Newtown, Connecticut ended with 28 people dead, including the gunman*, and many questions left unanswered.

I remember being at work and then at school when the details of the events began to be passed around. I remember talking about school safety and questioning the possible motives. I remember being overwhelmingly afraid while trying to finish the day as if the mom in me didn’t want to race to my son’s school to see that he was safe. I remember hugging my children extra tight that night and thanking God that they were safe in their beds when I couldn’t turn off my mind and got up multiple times to check on them.

School shootings are a terrible thing but this school shooting hit far too close to home. The faces of beautiful, bright and smiling 6 and 7-year-olds were shown and all I could see were the faces of my babies. One of the little girls shared my daughters name and my heart broke for all of their families.

Today reports were released as to the verification of only one shooter and, sadly, reminding us that the motives behind all of this will probably never be known. Many of the stories I read listed the victims of the shooting as 26, 20 children and 6 adults. I do understand this to some extent, these were the people that were killed in Sandy Hook Elementary.

What bothers me is that the shooter took the life of his mother before he made his way to Sandy Hook. She too was a victim and it bothers me that she is not included in many of the articles and reports. I have no idea what was going on in that house or why the gunman made the decisions that he made. I do know that as a mother, it bothers me that she is excluded so easily when she too was a victim.

I remember Sandy Hook and hope that when others also remember, that they include the shooter’s mother in the victim count, as he took 27 lives that day.

*I purposely chose not to list the gunman’s name here, as I don’t want that to be the focus of this post. I want it to be about the lives lost that day, the people that should be remembered.